Friday, April 17, 2009

Watching what you say...

Shit happens and often it's not coming from the tail end. Sometimes, what you put out of your mouth is just as bad as the stuff that comes out of your rear. In the past, I was exceptional at the latter. I talked fast and occasionally didn't think before words came out of my mouth. It was always something Ashley wanted me to work on, and now, I can truly say that I put alot of effort into this.

What does this have to do with this blog? Plenty.

Think about before you starting trying to have a baby. Think about the conversations you had about getting pregnant or your fertility.

I remember having a discussion with a coworker (during my insert foot in mouth phase) in which we were discussing the timing of baby. She was curious when we were going to start trying, and I informed her we were going to wait until December of 2008... because, well, I'm so fertile we'll be pregnant the first night we try. Little did I know, she had been trying for 3 years.

Now, we're both trying and I wish I could apologize for that conversation over and over again every time I talk to her.

A few days ago, someone asked me if I was pregnant yet, and while I was replying no, a "foot in mouth" kinda gal walked up and joined in on the conversation. She asked how long we'd been trying, I responded. She prompty announced "if we tried, we'd be pregnant right away, I'm soooooooo fertile"and "maybe you are not" ......and she's in her fifties. I could have body checked her without a second thought.

The other big thing I think that literally burns me to my bone are the phrases "well, maybe you aren't meant to have a baby" or "maybe you won't get pregnant" or "it will happen when the time is right/meant to be." I am not religious so the timing thing/meant to be thing is ridiculous, but I do believe that words can hurt and if you put something out there in the universe, maybe it will the last thing you should say to a person who is literally dreaming of being pregnant is maybe you won't be or that you are not meant to procreate. We are mammals, our entire purpose in life is to procreate and have our genes go on, so saying that it's not meant to be is like saying that your entire purpose for being is mute.

We've all probably said something to the like, either before we knew what we were saying or even as something meant to hurt. Before we started trying to get pregnant, we were super human fertiles, just waiting to burst out the first baby when we were ready. After month one, as the overwhelming sadness of that first failure took over, we became the wanters. Four months or four years...failure month after month becomes the same. And as a wanter, I just ask that people think about what they say, you never know what the person is going through on the other end of the conversation.

1 comment:

  1. Very well written post. And I couldnt agree more.