Monday, June 29, 2009

Any number of things

Life is crazy.

Dealing with some family issues, it's surprising to me how little I let me get stressed out now. The current situations, which I will not elaborate on, would have left me in tears and freaking, it's just another day.

Work is great, too much of it, but great. I just got a job offer to work for a bigger line, which means more commission, a raise, and less hours. A triple threat of lovely. Plus I use all of the products so I'll actually save money by working there (free stuff every few months).

Speaking of saving, grocery deals all around. I'm still mad at the crazy buy it all lady, but hey, what can you do. I was able to buy alot of stuff tonight for about 12 dollars, so I am at peace with my coupons. I hope albertsons always does doubles! Super good and cheap food.

I did buy a pregnancy test. Hey, it was on sale. I know i know, it just doesn't add up in case I do turn out to be one of those that tests don't work on, but you can't hate on me for trying. I didn't focus on the ovulation the last few months, so I would like to officially declare that "we are not trying!" to the universe... Just in case it helps.

-- Post From My iPhone

Friday, June 26, 2009

I am Jack's Mental Angst


A few things I'd lime to rant about for a minute.

1. Grocery stores and their "deals"

If you advertise a special, please stock it. And to those ladies out there trying to coupon... Stop fucking it up for the rest of us. When you take all 60 of an item at one store and do this at ALL the local stores, you have not only beat the system, you have wasted my gas and my time so I could get just 5 of those.....5 is how many we would actually eat in a month... not your crazy ass stockpile to last you until the end of time.

2. Working 12 hours shifts

I can't say no and for this I should beat my own ass. I am so tired I couldn't if I wanted too. Trying to make a baby is nill in this whole never have time of my own or even seeing my husband...and FORGET sleeping or keeping the house clean. People always say my house never needs to be cleaned, I am sure they would eat their words now.

3. I am done with pets!

After Sadie, my patience has been worn thin and it's only getting worse. She seems to be better now (wow, doggie aspirin is a miracle) but everytime I turn around there is pee or POOP in my house! My dogs were soooo well trained before, I don't know what's going on. AND when I clean it up, I turn around and someone has puked. Sweeet. PITA is another story, why she chose to pee on our laundry this last week, I will never know, but it would be nice to kick her out of the house so if anyone wants a peeing cat, you just let me know.


-- Post From My iPhone

Monday, June 22, 2009

Sibling jealously

Baby was born last night. I am officially an aunt and officially jealous of my brother. I didn't really get jealous of the pregnancy, just the aftermath of being able to hold a baby in your arms and know that they are yours to raise and love.

I feel badly for my dad, he's officially is a grandpa for the first time but my brother has sided with my mom and they aren't speaking. He didn't even get a email, text, or a phone call. I forwarded the information as I received it including pictures. I tried to broach the subject with my brother and my mom but just got dead response. I kniw that they should be able to feel what they feel, but this is an important milestone and one that should mend fences, not make taller ones. It makes me feel like when it's my turn that I should return the favor, but I'm not like that and unfortunately the only thing I can do is try to involve my dad as much as possible when it's us having the baby so he can really enjoy being a grandpa.

But, I can't wait to meet my newest family member, all said and done.

-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, June 20, 2009

An unsuccessful attempt

Tried to have a garage sale, my OCD clutter phobia was on overdrive and my closets were calling for a cleaning. Mistakely, I chose late June to have this summer barrel of fun...rain and freezing! Yah!

I have so far sold 4 dollars in two days, and have had less visitors then come to this site in an hour! Maybe I should just do it here!

I figure it's not hitting the right clientele base, I don't own crap and dustables just as figurines.... I have alot of contemporary stuff that just didn't fit into the color scheme I planned for this house. Oh well.

It's only 9am and this thing is supposed to go until 2. 5 bucks bets I don't last past 11am.

In other general news: making my pantry full and o'plenty. Working hard. Nephew is to be born Sunday or Monday (4 years of trying and 3 invitros later).

Starting to wonder what's up with my body: cramping every day even just a week past period and the periods are lasting a long time (7days) last few months. I think it's time for a visit to "swoon" doctor.

-- Post From My iPhone

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Working for the weekend

My second job loves me.

They want me to go full time but the whole point of a second job is to have more money...not less. It's just a lower wage than I can handle as an only job. I've also got to tell him no about extra hours, I am just at my boiling point and could use one day off a week to actually be a day off. Thursday I had alot to do before my afternoon shift with them, a long list that really needs to be done so I can have a garage sale I've been planing for a while. But, he needs me to work a full open to close which leaves me with nearly no time to gather my things and get my head straight.

Hopefully he'll understand. I want to help him because he's a small biz guy that really could use some positive help around the place... but I just can't.

In my month of crazy, I am going full swing into this whole drink if I wanna, eat what I wanna, and spend money on myself...if I wanna.
I needed a break from it all. Too much disappointment. I know that the folks who actually read this have experienced much worse and for much longer, so I feel like one of these breaks every 6 months may be in order so I don't become a crazed negative person no one wants to listen to. (both in real life and in blog life)

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Drunk at 11am

Yes. I am.

I am acting as if this is my last month of crazy. I am at the horse races with friends. It's kinda exciting.

Drunk at 11am. Sweet

-- Post From My iPhone

Friday, June 12, 2009

So I lied.

Sadie is back to bad. It's like another 180 back to sick.
Next step is a xray, although both of us are unsure what good an xray will do in figuring out what we can do for her. She is not leading a quality life at the moment, but the vet... The vet could give a damn, they just want more money!

I may try to convience ash to wake up and go with me tomorrow, I don't want to go alone and have to get the death glare from them. He really doesn't want to, but sometimes you gotta team it.

-- Post From My iPhone

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A definite change...

Sitting here, I just realized a flip flop of life from yesterdays post.

Sadie is magically better. Shes chewing on a bone and jumping on the couch. Crazy what change can happen in a day.

I've started my period, without agonizing over negative pee sticks and pregnancy symptoms. It's just like how easy things were before trying. And I'll admit that it felt ok, rather than wanting to cry when it started, I just dealt with it and moved on in seconds. What a difference.

Not that next month won't be the crazy baby making haze I'm used to, I haven't totally given up on the idea but I feel like I just don't have room for the extra crazy that I exhibit in that two week wait. I still want a baby more than anything, but since I can't make my body do what I want it to, I'll just have to deal with it.

And since I started today early, I gave up on the basal's suppose to work best if you start day 1, so oh well. I may still get the fertility test, I should have a gift card coming from target, so I'd just be out 10 bucks ... Not bad for a little false peace of mind.

-- Post From My iPhone

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

So I drank...

A little, I've had a really long week. Really really long.

I know that I am at some point in the ovulation two week wait, but this month is nill...I can feel it.

Sadie is not doing so hot, she's back to her neck pain and now she's not eating and pooping a red orange. It's hard to say, but we just can't justify spending a fortune trying to make her better if we don't know that this won't reoccur. I don't know what the vet will tell us, but I'm sure it's going to be a guilt fest no matter what. We don't use credit cards anymore, so whatever it comes to has to come out of pocket. And there isn't a lot of pocket room to spare.

What should we do. Where should we go from here.

-- Post From My iPhone

Monday, June 8, 2009

To buy or to not buy....


I know from earlier posts that the whole pregnancy test thing might be worthless, and I say might be because I think I willed myself into believing my body won't show positive on a test like my mom....who conceived 4 unplanned children "just by looking at someone."

But I still can't seem to release the feeling of wanting to test, just in case.

Plus, now that I know I don't have that magical 29 day cycle thing, I could start tomorrow or a week from now. Thanks body! I can't wait to run to the bathroom, tampon in hand 15 times a day!

I am trying to come up with a game plan now that I have a new doctor and a brighter outlook (okay, a dim outlook, but it's better than dark) on this whole thing... see post here.

New things to try and ways to no longer save the money I was saving by stealing groceries -

Basal Thermometer
First Response Fertility Test
First Response Ovulation Test

Any thoughts on these?

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Caught myself

I checked the calendar and I think I'm at 10 days past ovulation. I should be slapped on the hand. Why do I put myself through this torture?

Standing in the time out corner.

Thankfully, with last month's mistaken symptoms, I think I learned my lesson. My gigantic sore boobs and sweet tooth are just signs my period is on the way. Not that I'm surprised at this point.

Such is life.

(in grocery news, I managed to get 190 worth of groceries for about 40 bucks!)

-- Post From My iPhone

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Unnecessary moments

Times this week I've heard pregnancy annoucements: 3

Times this week I have wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out: 3

-- Post From My iPhone

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The hardest part

I'm definitely in the two week wait, but I'm trying not to pay attention to the chart. I don't want to think about it, but that is hard to do with two new babies in the family and the constant question of am I. I am a pretty honest person and am usually up front about my life with people, but that has backfired a little because now everyone is aware that we've been trying, hence the am I question.

I try not to think about what could be.. It would make my day to get pregnant for fathers day, hell, it would make my year. This blog is going to get scarce of symptoms this time around because of last month and the deep disappoint we faced of thinking we could really be pregnant. I know you all who read this have been through that trial, it sucks and I just can't handle doing it again this month.

I feel like a debbie downer, but I'll try to fill the space with groceies and other tidbits of randomness I can think of while I pretend I won't focus on pregnancy symptoms.