Friday, February 27, 2009

The Dollar Store

Who knew that dollar store pregnancy tests were one of the highest rated on the market for early detection of pregnancy! I hit up the local 99 cents or more junkorama for the good stuff today during my lunch. Seeing as how rare it is for me to stop in one, I stocked up for a few months (or a week...I get a little paranoid about tests working). I received a number of looks from both the teller and the customer behind me as I laid down seven of those bad boys to purchase.

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Disappointment every time I wake up to unsore boobs. I feel like that should be the first sign someone notices that tells them that they are pregnant. I still have 4 more days before I can even take a test (I think I may have ovulated a day later too that the chart online suggested, so it may be 5 days).

I wish it would come sooner so I can know!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Surprise! How to tell the ones you love...

You're Pregnant. How do you tell everyone? The internet is filled with small, mediocre ways of surprising the hubby, the newly branded grandparents, and the other assortments of folks you may know and want privy to such information. Over the years, I've come up with some decent ways of announcing this wee bit of excitement...

Dads / Grandpas

Does he happen to work in Construction? Get him a new tool belt filled with all of the new tools he'll need...diapers, wipes, bottle, teether.

New Grandparents

Take pictures from a recent family gathering, holiday time, vacation, anything you can think of and go to MyPublisher or Snapfish and make a book... use the last page as a place to put an ultrasound picture or a "addition coming soon " page.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Sudden Woes of I don't know....

I don't know if I can enjoy a coffee or a martini with friends... the worst part about the two week window is the sacrifice of caffeine and telling friends "no, but thanks." Shouldn't Evolution have come up with a way to tell a woman she's pregnant immediately so she doesn't ruin her unborn child's life.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

And now we wait...

The damage is done and now's just the waiting period of "I wonders"

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

This sucks...

I work, come home, Ash is at work. I wake up, he's asleep, I work, come home, Ash is at work.
We are living two seperate lives it seems.....and it just so happens this kind of schedule comes when we need to be "hanging out together."

Oh well. I get to drink at Trivia for another few weeks before we try again if this doesn't work.
(We won by the way! First ever Win!)

Saturday, February 14, 2009

We Won!

A few years back, my husband completed his duties on getting one of the worst gifts ever for me on Valentines. . . a hello kitty steering wheel cover. I let him have it, and he's gotten progressively better at gift giving ever since.

Speed up to now, I entered his gift (that he will never forget was bad) in a contest for worst gift ever on Dadcentric, a web blog written by a bunch of funny as hell dads. We won.

The prize was flowers, and since I was the one who posted to the contest, we thought it best to give the flowers to his mom. We surprised her at work (a hospital) on Friday with a bunch of roses delivered from UPS and She's a great lady, whose really celebrating the single life finally after years of unfortunate guys who weren't worth her amazingness. Needless to say, it was all worth getting that steering cover years ago!

More Prediction Charts....

Thursday 5th February 2009 - First day of your cycle

Sunday 15th February 2009 - Best chance of conceiving a girl

Monday 16th February 2009 - A little bit fertile, best chance of conceiving a girl

Tuesday 17th February 2009 - Fertile, best chance of conceiving a boy

Wednesday 18th February 2009 - VERY fertile, best chance of conceiving a boy

Thursday 19th February 2009 - Time to ovulate

Sunday 1st March 2009 - A home pregnancy test may work now.

AimStrip pregnancy tests can detect your pregnancy 4 days before your period is due and costs up to 60% less than drugstore brands!
Buy some today so you will be ready to test when the time arrives!

Thursday 5th March 2009 - End of cycle

Sunday 8th March 2009 - No period? Maybe you're pregnant!

Thursday 12th November 2009 - If you are, this is your approximate due date

Friday, February 13, 2009


Try to conceive, repeat, repeat, repeat.

Now that I'm focused on having a's amazing to think that all of the years I took the pill....I would freak out when I missed one, thinking I was pregnant and spazzing out about it. Fast forward to actually trying, and failing....even though it's only been a month....

I still feel like a failure.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Chinese Prediction

If 93% of pregnant ladies claim this is true, I'm in.

For 2009, if we get pregnant in....

January - GIRL

February - GIRL
March - BOY
April - BOY
May - GIRL
June - BOY
July - GIRL
August - GIRL
September - BOY
October - GIRL
November - BOY
December - BOY

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Ovulation Calculator

The magical web is predicting I will be most fertile from February 16th to the 21st.... so if we're not answering the phone around that time, you know why!

If we do convert that egg into a living thing, the due date would be November 12th.... seriously, how did anyone survive back in the day of no internet, it must have been such a hassle to predict on your own!


Cramps suck. I'm tired. I hurt...

and we've got another 4 days or so until we can start trying again!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Pains

Not a day after I test for babyness, my period starts. I forgot how awful cramps can be. After being on Depo for over about 8 years....I had forgotten how much I hate being a female. I stopped the depo a year ago so it's slowly been coming back.

I can't wait to get back on the good stuff after we have this unmade baby.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

One Line OR Two....

Month One - Unsuccessful Mating Occurred.

And Another Thing...

It seems like I'm being kind of an asshole when I say this but I just had to get it out there....

When researching the shear cost of having a child, the actual price of doctors fees or labor and delivery, I've come to the conclusion that by being a responsible and respectable part of this society is actually a downfall. By which I mean that even with health insurance, a baby is going to cost up to 5000 just to come out of my stomach, not including all of the preparation products and material goods I'll be purchasing.

My asshole thought of the day. All the teenage mothers and low income folks having children out there don't seem to have this type of bill coming to them....or at least that's what I assume from the mirage of ladies having babies at my work. How is it that being financially responsible by waiting until we know we can afford the additional mouth to feed and carrying health insurance is actually a disadvantage when it comes to procreating?

We wouldn't qualify for milk and cheese, and there would never be any offer from the state to help finance our "OOPS"...



Technically we've only been trying for 30 days now...if you want to get even more technical we've only been trying for two weeks since that's around the time that egg became ripe even to want to think about becoming a baby. Most of our friends and family know we are at this stage....yet every time I talk to them on the phone or in person, their first question is "Are you PREGNANT yet?" Really? REALLY? It can take up to a year for an average couple to conceive, we are not SUPER HUMANS! In fact, with the traveling my husband has to do for work, and our completely opposite schedules, we're lucky to get it on twice a week....and that's if we are lucky....

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Hunt Begins

If I wasn't thinking about babies constantly already, and wondering to myself, what the F^%& is wrong with me for not producing a duplicate in a more timely matter....

Being the oldest child, oldest grandchild, oldest cousin.... friend who got married first.... it was expected that I procreate as quick as humanly possible. Everyone is in constant reminder that we were not willing to conceive in the past due to finances, and now that we have finally decided to dive in and just do it, it seems that people have forgotten that it can take some god damn time.

There's only a twenty percent chance of making babe a month, even if we are totally on it and get to the baby making on schedule. I'm not interested in standing on my head, or checking my temperature every morning and running around on all the baby forums talking TTC and whatever other codes momwannabes make up.

When it happens it happens, just everyone else STOP producing so I can get a chance at the limelight.....when I'm good and ready.

The Starter Series

Today I begin blogging the ultimate quest. One that many have tried and suceeded before me, and how much I hate them for getting pregnant before I can...

Starting this blog will hopefully be an outlet to the frustration of baby making, obsessive parents...etc, etc.

Enjoy this time with me, comment if you enjoy something or can't stand what I have to least I'll know someone is listening.