Friday, April 17, 2009

The Justification of Sleep

The one thing that I can truly say I enjoy because I do not have a child is sleep. I am not a morning person normally and fight getting up before 8am. I justify sleeping in until 9am or so because I don't have a kid yet, and I know this precious time will never be the same when a little one takes over that title "precious." I love sleep, but I know I would love being a mom more.

I know there are probably other things I'd be giving up, but for now the only thing I know for sure would go down the drain is the sleep thing.

And on that note of "giving up things," I thought I would speak to the idea that having a baby or becoming a mother is so that people would pay attention to that person.

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

This idea is wrong.

Spending 9 months experiencing any of the following symptoms is not worth any amount of attention someone may seek: nausea, hemorrhoids, stretch marks, fat ankles, or a much larger uterus that may never be the same. No coffee or alcohol or PEANUT butter, my favorite things! Then after baby comes, it is all about the baby. No one comes to your house to hang out with you, especially since you haven't showered for two days and you are waddling like a 8lb baby has just come out of your vagina. They want to smell the baby smell and hold the sack of potatoes that is a crying bundle of joy. From the moment you have a child, life becomes about that little one, not you. Everything you do is no longer about you, you will lose friends, your habits have to change, and you no longer get the best gifts at Christmas...hell, you may not get any, unless you count the new Dora Movie your child got so you don't have to watch the old one anymore.

So, if attention is what a person seeks, the last thing in the world they would want to do is have a child. Instead, tell your parents you are becoming a wican, get some sleeve tattoos, and start showing up to all family functions drunk, hell, drive there drunk... that will get you the attention you apparently seek.


  1. I hate that kind of attention. As much as I want a baby, I loathe the idea of fuss and I am REPULSED by the idea of a baby shower.

    Yes.. I was the same way as a bride. That was a main reason we eloped. I am not surprised there are people out there having a baby so they can feel the center of attention.

    I love sleep too, and we love to spend a lazy day in our pajamas, eating irresponsible dinners of dip and chips. Which would have to go, because that is a horrible example even if it is a delightful practice...

  2. it's just my passive aggressive way of letting someone know that they are wrong, I want a baby because I want a baby... and I am not an attention grabbing whore.

    thanks for reading!