Sunday, March 28, 2010

One week.

Madelyn is one week old today.

We've learned alot this week; about ourselves, each other and about her.

Madelyn is amazing. She is really turning out to be a pretty little girl. She is already trying to smile and hold her head up. It's awesome to see her develop everyday.

Ash is also turning out to be an amazing dad. He tries really hard to help me out and keep me from doing too much. He showers madelyn with kisses and can't stop staring at her. He also can't wait to start swim lessons and soccer with her, we went to target the other day (actually we've been there 3 times this week.. So many things we need that we didn't realize) and he perused the sports aisle for a good ten minutes picking out the stuff they would need.

I am also enjoying our little girl, although I spend most of my time feeding her and generally unable to do much else. It's funny the motherly instincts that naturally appear, I can already read most of her cues for a need before she gets frustrated and starts crying. She is worth every stitch, every gasp of ouch, and any of the fuzzy details of labor pains I experinced.

Although life is not all peaches and cream...
I am still in alot of pain, swollen and feeling weak. I know this should only last a few more days but man... It hurts to walk and to sit, so my options are limited! Coughing sucks big time. I've got an email into my doctor about more pain meds (I hate asking for a refill, makes me look like a junkie) and to ask him if it should feel like this. I am more swollen than I should be, the swelling actually got worse day three or so, when I had a coughing fit and think I may have busted something. Ugh.

-- Post From My iPhone

Friday, March 26, 2010

The longest Saturday of my life.

Birth story!

We were told to expect a phone call starting at 4:30 am Saturday morning. In all of our anxiousness, ash and I were up and at um by 2:30. Since this isn't the fun part, I'll just give you the bullets...
- 8:00 we call them, call back at 12
- 8:30 lost mucus plug or bloody show (who knows!)
- contractions start up just as the "are you" phone calls roll in.
- 12:00 still can't come in, ash and I go to the mall to walk. Contractions as little as 3 minutes but as much as 8 minutes apart.
- 12:30 someone please cork my butt, cleansing begins. Also almost got hit on a crosswalk at the park.
-5:20 while waiting for phone call, decide to do dinner out.
-5:21 phone call comes. Scheduled for 6pm.

When we got to the hospital, I told them about the labor I was already feeling, after they hooked me up they determined I was contracting every 2 minutes ( who knew? Not me!). The pit got started and I was checked (1.5cm) around 7pm. An hour later I was gwtting ultrasounds on my legs for a superficial blood clot that formed. Some of the parents showed up and I was cooking at 2cm. I tried to tell the nurse my water broke, but she said it wAs just my plug. (later determined to be my water) By 9pm, I was at a mind shattering in pain 4cm. The pain was so bad I was convulsing during and after (the contractions never let up after 8pm). I wasn't screaming, but definitely cussing and apologizing profusly to the nurse so doing so. She was amazing and went to see if she could get me an epidural after determining that 4 stage.

By the time the epidural guy came, I was in so much pain that I was throwing up and straight up shaking like I was in the midst of a seizure. My dad took one look at me and he said he'd never seen eyes so big and pupils so small. My step mom was still in the room and helped me through some of the toughest contractions. She was awesome. As soon as the epidural was in, I was checked again and at a 7 (40minutes from 4 to 7). Although I could still feel some pain, it was definetly better after drugs.

About two hours later, I was ready to push. Babe was sunny side up so the two hours of pushing got us nowhere. The nurse said she was going to call the doctor in, the heartbeat was almost nonexistent after a push... And ash and I prepared ourselves for a possible c section. Luckily, he came in and took one look at how tired I was, and recommended a vacuum assisted delivery. It seemed like seconds later Madelyn was born.

I was torn, snipped, and exhausted....but finally a mom. More later!

-- Post From My iPhone

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Zoning out.

Last night was a huge upgrade. Madelyn ended up cosleeping (I know I know...bad mommy) but she keeps refluxing and it was scarying the poo out of me, well not literally I will get to that later. Breastfeeding is a lot easier on my side and it's pretty easy to just attach her and go back to half sleep. I won't say I am full on sleeping yet, too worried about her!

-- Post From My iPhone

Monday, March 22, 2010

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Ready or not!

It's 4:30 am. I should be sleeping but I'm not. I am waiting on that hospital call to come in for induction. Ash is wide awake too. We are both nervous, anxious, and excited all at the same time.

I finally started to freak out yesterday. I think I have been zoning the pain part of this whole process out and suddenly it's all I can think about. Having never been hospitalized or had any major surgery it's understandable but you can almost hear me think "it's okay if she sticks around a little longer".. The exact opposite of everything I've been saying forever now.

God, I should be sleeping. I know that the process could last 24 hours and that after that I could be breastfeeding every three hours for really this is my true last oppurtunity to get any rest. Yet here I am.

Last night I was able to time contractions for three hours at 7 minutes apart before I feel asleep and they went away. These were definitely more painful than we thought maybe I was having real labor (if so, hey not too bad on the pain scale) but they went away. Which was probably a good thing, because of the induction, I didn't want to be that asshole that showed up at 2am thinking I was laboring to find out I wasn't and be sent home. This has been a lucky enough pregnancy that I hadn't had that happen.

Seriously, no phone call yet...this is going to be a long 4 hour window. It's like the damn cable guy, but in reverse, cause they aren't coming to my house, I get to find out when to come to theirs.

For those patiently refreshing or checking back on this site later to see if Madelyn has arrived, my plan is to post sometime soon after her arrival. Y'all have followed me this long, you deserve the benefit! So no post probably means no baby, but check the twitter sideline at the top for updates when ash allows me the use of my phone. (he is gong to keep it for my sanity sake due to parental "is she here yet" calls).

See ya guys in parenthood.
-- Post From My iPhone

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Super excited to still be pregnant

Super. Do you believe me yet?

Plans today are to:
Walk the dogs
Get the house clean again
Try and give myself a pedicure if I can reach my toes
May take a bath, but would require a deep tub clean so we shall see.

Argh. If only I could add have a baby to this list.

-- Post From My iPhone

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Move out day

Just giving Madelyn a "get the heck out" notice. I'd use more upseting swear words, but she's my daughter so I want to start this relationship out right.

No contractions last night, even with stripping my membranes for the FOURTH time, which was definitely supposed to work. Good to know, body...did you hear that?

I woke up with a headache from grinding my teeth last night, the stress of family is really bothering me and it's coming out in the middle of the night. I sure it was irratating to Madelyn just like it was to ash. He looks worried about me. I keep saying I may end up with pre partum depression rather than post just dealing with the drama. I'm done.

-- Post From My iPhone

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Doctors appt went well. I am still at 1cm, but effaced to 80%. At least I made a little progress. It's never the progress we think it will be but hey it's something. The hospital has been exceptionally busy so our induction is scheduled for Saturday. We get a phone call sometime that day to go in and start the process. It's exciting to know we have an actual date, disappointing that it's not Wednesday or thursday...but what can you do. The doc did say he was happy with my progress and the induction will definitely work now, plus he said her head is much further down then before. I guess he had another gal who was scheduled for Friday get checked yesterday and go into labor overnight so he is positive Madelyn will come on her own prior to Saturday. He says he just has to scare them by filling out the induction paperwork and they make their own escape.

Still not betting on it, but would be nice.

I am looking forward to not getting the "are you" phone calls. I vented today via facebook and Twitter, it backlashed and I was told I was being's just already disappointing to myself, and having to answer to a million (ok, 18 today) other disappointed folks just makes me feel worse! I guess I should have left some things anonymous so I could have a true place to let my emotions escape (helps so I don't lash out at ash). Oh well, I am sure this is just the first of things I don't do right in this next few days (big events never seem to work out perfectly without hitches due to parents etc). Can you tell the pregnancy hormones are really starting to swell up?

-- Post From My iPhone

Monday, March 15, 2010

Heartburn, fake contractions, and zero baby

But hey, still living.

Ash and I went to a rather large mall, walked each corner... I was able to have just a few contractions during the process. Then we walked a smaller mall, same thing. I have also pulled weeds and washed my car today. baby but plenty of fake its to be had.

Old wives tales dictate i should be going into labor any minute. I havent gained a pound in two weeks, i have definitely dropped, and my body is cleansing itself out faster than I can put nutrition in. Plus, Madelyn is moving less today than usual. Funny, I am not running to the door right now or would I bet any money on it.

Heartburn is still terrible. I am out of my OTC acid stuff and the tums aren't really working...I imagine I will be heading out to get some more before the days over.

-- Post From My iPhone

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Something is missing here

A baby. Still waiting!

It was a super fun filled weekend, a lot of sitting and waiting around kind of fun. Our last weekend without a baby and ash was super busy with his convention... Now he is sleeping on the couch! Being as how I have had a couple of yowza type of contractions today, the kind that hurt too much to talk, I figure I will let him sleep so someone is well prepared in case something amazing actual labor or my water breaking.

Would be awesome, just saying Madelyn...just saying!

We are so ready!

-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, March 13, 2010

39 weeks 3 days

Last baby bump picture!

-- Post From My iPhone

Friday, March 12, 2010

Final countdown!

Man o man I am tired of the falsies. Yesterday I had so many I thought it really was the day! I think we might be making it to this induction date. The only real signs I've had is that I have lost weight/maintained the same for two weeks, my system has been flushing itself, and I do feel like maddie is "lower". That and those damn contractions that lead no where.

By the way, this wouldn't be a good weekend for a baby to come... Ash is going to be at a comic convention all weekend in Seattle (an hour or so away) and he has work at night. My dad is busy with construction home projects. And there isn't someone scheduled to watch the dogs. So, clearly, she will probably try and make her debut this weekend if she wants to maintain her drama queen status.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

7 days! No wait 6!

Can't wait any longer.

I am seriously considering taking castor oil, mowing the lawn, washing the car...whatever it takes to get this baby to come naturally before we induce.

I guess it's 7 days to induction (as long as hippy doc doesn't change his mind) so I was partially right on the title.

Ash had to go out for a work function last night... With the expressed concern by me that he not drink too much and keep his phone on him. Of course, easier said than done, as his industry is such that drinking is almost a requirement. 3 am rolls around and he comes wandering in, a little too talkative for so early in the morning! Luckily I didn't have another bout of falsies after midnight or his ass would have been grass! He knew I was upset, but he fell asleep muttering about how it's really hard to see the reality of a baby because it's not in his stomach and he doesn't get to experience anything until she comes. And he mentioned the constant "your life will change forever and have fun now" comments from the peanut gallery...welcome to my world my friend.

He scheduled some friends of his to come over tonight for dinner. 6 days till I am due and I have to plan what to make. The wife is a bit picky and isn't a big fan of non Vietnamese food, so I always struggle to figure out what to make. Maybe we'll do something spicy with lots of pineapple, followed by a castor oil shake to get labor going! Ha!

-- Post From My iPhone

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Holy mammoth

I am carrying a small giant. The ultrasound today confirmed (plus or minus one pound) that I am currently carting around a 8lb 15oz baby. Ash was apparently that it's quite likely that this is the actual size and not just an estimation. It's crazy that we were once worried that she was too small.

Her head alone is showing 42 weeks, her body 40. The ultrasound put us at 40 weeks 0 days....otherwise known as get the heck out day! Of course, hippy doc
didn't want to schedule an induction just yet...which is why I was thrilled to have Ashley around. He and I were able to talk him into a march 18th induction of she doesn't make her appearance on her own.

My body of course is still shit tight, (okay I meant shut, but heck I will leave it as it lays) and I have changed from a 20% effacement to a 60%...thankfully something has made progress. I had my membranes stripped again (3 weeks in a row) and nothing has changed. I am still in hope that she will come on her own this week/end, but at least I have an end date to look forward to.

Everyday I make sure the dishes are done, laundry washed and folded, bathrooms clean so if we have to head to the hospital we come back to a clean house...I am hoping I don't have to do it all again the next day...we shall see!

-- Post From My iPhone

Monday, March 8, 2010

No call no show

Single digits. 9 days, although it's just 4 hours from being 8 days. We have an ultrasound and then our weekly checkup. There better be some damn progress! If not, I will demand some sort of progress from Madelyn...I will have to jump on some beds or trampolines...something to get her going. Most of me hopes that they take one look at the ultrasound and send us straight to l&d.

Maternity leave kinda sucks. I hate being here without something to do. I just wanna see a baby in my arms!
You know what else sucks...everyone else is busy...working, doing stuff on the outside, promising to get together but not calling! (christina- you have exemption). None of my friends have called, just family...good lord I don't want to answer the same question daily! No mom, I didn't go into labor. Madelyn isn't here yet!

-- Post From My iPhone

Sunday, March 7, 2010

10 days

And nothing.

No signs, even my phantom contractions disappear without progressing. I've got the new Mario game to spend the time away waiting. But I am bored!

BORED! I tell you.

-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, March 6, 2010

11 days of patiently waiting

Seriously kid. Come on out.

Our freezer is stocked, the house is clean, even the dogs have been groomed and exercised. Everything is waiting on you Madelyn.

My maternity leave was set to start tomorrow, but i just couldn't wait and called out today pregnant. Finally, a day when I could just call in and say I wasn't up to it. Two nights of only sleeping an hour and mild contractions that lead nowhere left me wanting to take the day off. So I did.

It's too nice outside. We took the dogs to the park and walked around trying to get her to make her way out of my womb. Last night we did the same thing but at wal.mart. Clearly it's not working.

Come on baby come on.

-- Post From My iPhone

Thursday, March 4, 2010

13 days or less.


I am sooo excited to be done with work in two days. It will be nice to relax for a week and just absorb everything. Funny to think I wouldn't even get to this point, I thought we'd would be talking about Madelyn turning two weeks.

I am looking forward to my body back. It's weird to wake up with new symptoms this far along. I am sleeping well, but wake up to achy bones and today a super swollen right hand (strange).

Ash and I are going to have those "come to Jesus" talks this weekend we think. It's funny that I am not anxious about the actual delivery but how to handle my mom and my dad, who don't speak, but are both very important to me... The hospital has a policy of two set visitors during labor, then a relaxed policy after. I don't know that we want visitors while I am trying to work thru pain, but I also don't want to be a bad guy and not allow grandparents to experience this. Then the after, who gets to come in first? How long can I and ash bond with Madelyn before inviting them in (would it be rude if we waited an hour?) I want to do the skin to skin and try to breastfeed, and I would prefer if we were in our new room. So does ash go and announce her arrival and then they wait for a little longer? Plus, if they are all allowed in, regulating baby holding time will be mom won't want to share with my dad/stepmom, and ashs mom will be waiting too...probably with ashs sisters. Funny that these are the things I stress about..not the pain or the sleepless nights but grandparents.

-- Post From My iPhone

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Sweeping the pipes

I have apparently lost weight. My doctor has asked me not to do that again, I am not trying! In fact I have been craving more and more sweets so I thought I would be up more!

My doctor didn't really mention how big he thinks she is, or how big I was showing. He just listened for her heartbeat and then checked my pulse. He did comment that he wouldnt let me go past my due date (but didnt say why the change of heart). Youll hear no complaining from me, but he never gives reasoning behind his decisions. I was still tight as a submarine, but he swept my membranes (holy yikes) and changed me to 1cm (or fingertip dialated).

Ash comes to very appt, even the ones in which I am checked, so I think the doctor gets a little flustered and forgets what he is doing sometimes. In his defense, I think he is just a more modest doctor who isn't used to molesting a patient in front of their husband...he almost runs outta the room immediately after without saying anything or goodbye. When ash had missed last week, he stuck around answering all of my questions for a good ten minutes, so I know it's not just his normal bedside manner.

After we did dinner and had some heart to heart conversations about delivery and how I have been feeling. I haven't talked much about the weird anxiety I have had because we have family that reads this blog so you can't be as honest as you can when its full knowledge of who you are and who you are talking about. It was good that ash is totally in agreement and is willing to take the lead on the "come to Jesus" talks that will need to happen in the coming weeks. I will write about it once I think fully on how not to cause more drama than necessary.

Two weeks, Gawl! So crazy!

-- Post From My iPhone

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Losing the poll.

My guess was the 28th. Clearly, I was wrong.

Ashs mom has the 13th, my mother has the 10th. She has just recently gotten facebook, and figured out how to "post an event" for that day...super.

I kind of hope she comes on her own day, something that has no significance to anyone but her. We'll see.
Clearly she's not an early bird like her dad and I are. We are constantly 15-30 minutes early for everything and get really irritated when people are late. Prehaps she's trying to teach us a lesson.

My maternity leave starts sunday. I really thought I wouldn't make it until then. Now, I've got to come up with a list of things to do to keep myself occupied next week.

So far I have -

Rent the newest Mario wii game, finish it.
Make my friend's daughter a gift, ship to japan!
Get my haircut (it might be awhile)
Visit favorite restaurant, the pot with a friend.
Borrow professor ds game, finish it.

Sounds menial, but it's all I can think of. Plus, when's the next time I will be interested in video games for awhile? I am current on all of my book reading, nothing left in the list...and the nursery is done so no nesting to do. (cleaning is all done too).

I'm not even on maternity leave yet, and I'm already bored just looking at the list.

-- Post From My iPhone