Hanging out in the pit of doom

A pit full of bellies and babies.

I am waiting at my doctors office, at the one and only spot it seems to hang out for those blessed with babiness. I rarely go to appts after whatever infliction I felt is gone, but I don't want to deal with the ash tantrum again. So here I am, wasting a 20 dollar copay to tell a doctor I once experienced what will sound like a extreme case of ovulation.

It also is d day number two. I should have started yesterday or maybe today. I have this painful tumor in my head that makes me hold out in hope...when I know I should just stop by the store and pick up some damned tampons and be done with it.



-- Post From My iPhone

A day of reckoning

God. I hope I don't get my period today. I'd prefer if it was for a good reason rather than just being late.

My boobs are huge, like Victoria secret huge. Which is alot for my size b cup.

Early in the month, I experienced a week worth of really bad cramping near a ovary. Normally I would say it was just normal ovulation, but I had to stop in a store twice to sit down during one of those cramps. I had made an appt, but it was a week out and the day before the appt, I was feeling fine. Ash really wants me to see someone about it, and he threw somewhat of a man-tantrum thinking I could have something wrong with me or worse causing us to not conceive. So the appt is rescheduled for tomorrow to appease the ash god.

My heart goes out to breeder beware. I haven't seen the update yet, but she was hoping for a positive yesterday! Here's hoping!

-- Post From My iPhone

An unsuccessful attempt

Tried to have a garage sale, my OCD clutter phobia was on overdrive and my closets were calling for a cleaning. Mistakely, I chose late June to have this summer barrel of fun...rain and freezing! Yah!

I have so far sold 4 dollars in two days, and have had less visitors then come to this site in an hour! Maybe I should just do it here!

I figure it's not hitting the right clientele base, I don't own crap and dustables just as figurines.... I have alot of contemporary stuff that just didn't fit into the color scheme I planned for this house. Oh well.

It's only 9am and this thing is supposed to go until 2. 5 bucks bets I don't last past 11am.

In other general news: making my pantry full and o'plenty. Working hard. Nephew is to be born Sunday or Monday (4 years of trying and 3 invitros later).

Starting to wonder what's up with my body: cramping every day even just a week past period and the periods are lasting a long time (7days) last few months. I think it's time for a visit to "swoon" doctor.

-- Post From My iPhone

Crampy Crabby and Crafty

Yes, this sums up how I felt this past few days. Crampy and crabby.... pretty much my attitude towards periodness and the failure to procreate this past month. Crafty.... well, I've got two upcoming baby showers this month for family members... showers where I will be asked over and over and over again when Ashley and I are going to have a baby of our own. We'll be asked this so many times that if you see some news regarding a crazed woman that's taken hostages at Babies R Us over the weekend, you'll know who that woman is.

Just saying.

Although I am not going to be fond of the barrage of questions about babyness, I am fond of the new mamas to be, so if was only fair to make some cute things in my crafty way.

The diaper cake is a work in progress. I still need larger ribbon to finish it (try not to look at the mismatching ribbon). It's my first attempt at one, and I must say it is not nearly as expensive or difficult as it is made out to be. This is mostly for decorating a table at the shower, so the cake includes a ducky robe, baby lotion, baby shampoo, baby qtips, a handmade ducky rattle and diapers. It was roughly $20 to make.

The baby blanket is for stroller use mainly. It's about 24 x 18 and super soft. I took the extra time to finish some detailing so I guess if Babyzilla (the new grandma always calls me something with zilla on the end as a joke, I was the first bride in the family...aka bridezilla...so it's only fitting I call her grandbaby and my new 2nd cousin a zilla too) didn't like it, it can always be used as a wall hanging or doll blanket. Personally, I think it's adorable and I really hope she and her mom will enjoy it.

Wish me luck this weekend, I'm sure I'll post again before then... but I can use any support I can get to prepare me for "Are You" "Are You" "Are You" (spoken like the seagulls in Finding Nemo...mine! mine! mine!)

Period Watch 09'

I've got a new title for this mother of all craze I'm in...Period Watch 09'

Seriously, I have never in my life focused so much on my period, my body, and had such an inability to think of anything besides Baby. Ash is in on it too. He asks more questions now about how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking about, if my period has started, and if I'm okay.

Even during my period, I'm watching for signs that maybe it's letting up early...maybe it's just implantation. This one is less crampy, and a lot less heavy than normal. I'd be stupid to test. Really, Really stupid. I gotta say it one more time so I don't rush to the bathroom right now and test... really REALLY stupid!

Another one bites the dust...

I had the unlucky 4am wake up today. Thankfully I was dreaming that I had started my period and was smart enough to wake myself up and check. I am Jack's Utter Disappointment.

I was almost crazy enough to test anyway...but this one is like all others, enough to knock you down for days 1 and 2.

Onto the next month, a new OV watch to try, and hey...maybe that crazy lady had it all along, maybe I'll be pregnant in May.

So...

It's 11pm. The last post I did was midnight Friday....and I asked for anti period dances. I tried making up dances all day, to the thrill of my coworkers and customers.... it might have worked. I've had some twinges and odd feeling of "maybe" periodness but nothing yet. Since I am pretty regular on the 29 day thing, so as of midnight tonight, I will officially be one day late. If all goes well over while I sleep the night away, I will test in the morning. I'm still 50/50 on this at the moment....and am not looking forward to the sleepness night ahead.

Still the same

Another negative today. Sweet Jesus this is killing me.

I've had some cramping yesterday and today, so my period is probably right on track for Saturday. Funny that before I started jotting down any and all things going on with my body that the only "sign" I thought I had of a period coming was severe cramps two to three hours before I started. I now know that I have a good variety of PMS and other symptoms up to a week before my period!

I still cling onto the last bits of hope for this month.. the ovulation ticker at the bottom of this blog suggests that a negative test could just be a too early test on today's date. I really hope this is the answer. I'm officially out of tests, and with only two days to go, I don't know whether to buckle down and get some of the good tests, or just swing by the dollar store tomorrow and pick up some more cheapies.

Even Ash is slightly irritated at this whole process, he says it's just frustrating to keep getting negatives... as least he isn't thinking about it 24 hours a day all month like good ol' crazy here.

I was talking with my brother (see previous posts) Adam and he made me feel a little more normal for thinking about strangling the next person to tell me "just stop trying, it will happen when you stop thinking about it." I'm glad violence runs in our family when it comes to that statement! Try and stop thinking about....what you are eating, drinking, feeling...just stop seeing all of those teenage moms wander thru macys on their way to the food court with newborn infants in umbrella strollers, screaming their heads off, and their mom shaking the stroller to get them to stop...instead of supporting their child's bouncing head and look around...do you see a bottle or a diaper bag, NO... because clearly these people can procreate and make AMAZING parents. Sorry, that rant is coming from an internal desire to slap someone for telling me to not think about it... people who make good parents worry about things related to the making and raising of a child.

12 Days past Ovulation..

Most people would give up at this point. Lots of people would have tested positive already or decided this was moot and just dealt with the fact that it wasn't gonna happen this month. I'm just not one of those people. I really want to see how this one goes... hell, I almost bought more tests on the way home.

The worst part is that the symptoms I am feeling could be nothing more than a period on it's way. My boobs are sore, and EXTRA sore at night. I have been EXTRA super tired today, not tired enough for naps, but definitely enough to wish I could close my eyes for a minute or two. And, if you haven't already been put off from the sheer amounts of TMI (really? maybe we can find you another blog to read?) I've peed three times as much that I normally do on an average day. Anyone reading pregnant or been pregnant....ever had short uterine cramps after peeing? Just thinking into everything...

Sounds all too good to be true. I swear I will go bat shit insane if it's all in vain!

11 days past the big "O"

11 days.

Testing starts tomorrow (I am just going to pretend the other tests didn't happen). Small symptoms over the past few days, same as the last months before. I feel like a 14 year old boy everytime I check out my boobs for growth or soreness.. did they get bigger? well maybe. actually, YEAH! Small bouts of nausea all day (random and really short in length) and HELL YEAH my boobs are a little sore. I'm still unsure if it's just my normal period symptoms, as I've got little twinges of cramping and my standard single cystic spot of acne on the chin.

Feeling good about this month, not gonna lie.

Dammit

Cramps suck. I'm tired. I hurt...

and we've got another 4 days or so until we can start trying again!