Friday, April 16, 2010

Wearing my emotions

This week. Madelyn has been slowly figuring out my buttons and how to push them. This is all payback for my teenage years towards my mom, I'm sure of it.

Although she is doing great with the formula now, pooping regularly and experiencing alot less gas than before... We are struggling with the crying for no reason. And by we I mean me. My boobs and vjay hurt when she cries, it's mindblowingly stressfull for me. You go thru te checklist and everything is kosher, but she cries anyhow. Not a colic 3 hour long cry, but just enough to make you sweat.

Ashs work is becoming more demanding, so I roughly get about a two hour stretch where he is available to help some days. Those are the days I swear I am in the beginnings of post partum depression, and ash thinks it to I know he does... But in reality those are just the harder days and for the most part things are relatively calm on that front.

I need to start writing down her schedule now that she is closer to four weeks. Not my schedule, mind you, but her timeline of happiness. I downloaded a few apps but nothing suited my fancy. I wish I knew how to develop one. Maybe we'd become rich and I could be a part part time worker and enjoy my daughter instead of working full time.

Speaking of moola. Damn this week has sucked. All of the baby bills are rolling in, 1000 just in ultrasounds! I think we are right around 2500 which wouldn't be a huge deal normally...we've also got to pay back takes on an oops we just got audited on (a real oops, not a fake "oh I forgot it wink wink") and taxes that were due yesterday. I still need tires too. Fun fun.

Total "I wish we could win the lottery" this week- $4500
Looks like I might be returning to work a bit earlier than planned. Awesome.

Photo is of her demonstration of strength for daddy.

-- Post From My iPhone


  1. watch out for that ppd, i tried to convince myself it was just the baby blues but i was totally lying to myself. your baby is super cute :)

  2. So is yours! I've followed your blog for awhile but never comment...damned iPhone makes it painful to do so. I am not too worried about ppd, I only have cried from a few instances where nothing I could do for her would soothe her. Besides that, I love holding her and telling her I'll get her back when she's a teen! Because my milk supply went to poo this last week, I think this is just the hormones flushing themselves out. However, ppd is nothing to laugh at and I am glad you were able to get some help. I know how difficult being alone is, I invite friends over now to help the loniness... It really works. Also just go somewhere everyday, even if it's starbucks. The simple act of getting dressed and leaving the house improves my outlook ten fold for the day! Louise is absolutely adorable and it will all only get better from here!