As we went about our day yesterday, full of love, baby joys, and planning we had no idea that we were about to hit a shit storm when we walked into our followup doctors appt. Seriously, we ordered the crib hours before and were in one of those giggly naming moods. We were given the results of our ultrasound, the one we were told was "just fine" by the tech, and was hit in the face with some new details.
Our baby, the one moving inside me as I speak, has a two vessel cord. This is a one in hundred deal that has a potential of stillborn and a multipitude of medical complications that can affect the babys health and wellbeing. Oh yeah, but it might be nothing too. We were floored. We went from low risk to high risk in a matter of seconds. With a referal to a specialist neonatal physician in hand for a level 2 ultrasound, we were sent on our way to stir in our own doubts and fears until I can get an appt scheduled.
Google has been both my friend and my enemy today and last night. Countless women delivered normal healthy babies.... While countless others woke up one morning to deliver a baby that was no longer living. I don't know what to think. I want to stay positive, I know the baby has very little likelihood for the medical deformaties that is on one side of this...everything appeared within normal range in the organs (easiest indication of a problem) but the issue of possible stillborn makes me want to throwup I am so worried. I may be overreacting, but I have nothing else to go on. My mom and mother in law are both nurses, and when this news scares them, it makes me want to curl up in a ball with a Doppler and not reemerge unless I have a healthy infant in my arms.
The only things I can do is not stress (great, now you tell me) and be careful to not over do it. Bye bye coffee shop job, I can't fathom working one day a week just cause for 8 dollars an hour and risk my babys life. I am going to buy one of those retail Dopplers, stay off my feet more, and really stick to the rules on food, weight limits, and break schedules.
I am Jacks stressed out mama.
-- Post From My iPhone