Disappointed.

No water breakage here. Damn full moon giving me false hope. I even slept with the blinds open to try and soak up the moon rays. It didn't work.

I am tired of waking up disappointed to still be pregnant. I know it's wrong, but an extra 50 pounds on my frame really puts a toll on my body. Swollen all over, stretched skin, and a neverending battle with infections/headaches... It's hard to want to stay this way.

Funny thing is I wake up sad Im not in labor pains and during my commute I actually look longingly at the hospital (doubt that happens for most people). I did have a dream I was one of those "pregnant for 40 years" T L C ladies.

So off to work I am heading, to be asked the same "you are still here" questions until Saturday, when I get to say so long to work for at least 10 weeks. I hope my cupcake baby comes at the beginning of this maternity leave so I am not sitting around feeling sorry for myself waiting for her arrival.


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Hey guess what I have!

Another ultrasound appt, but not for baby...I have to get my kidneys checked out this afternoon after my doctor spotted yet another possible bladder infection yesterday at my normal appt, along with some intense spasms today that sent me straight to his office in tears.

I was checked yesterday and even with all of the falsies, I am as tightly closed as a summer vacation house in winter. Only a 10% chance of delivering this week.

The doc has an idea that all of my cramping could be related to this infection. We talked about maybe doing some antibiotics when he got back test results and sent me packing (sad about the news of false labor).

This morning I went to work a little throwuppy and achy. As soon as I got out of the car, I could barely walk due to some intense back pain that went from the middle of my back to my tailbone. After an hour of tears, I called in and got an emergency appt. I knew it wasn't labor, it felt more like back pain associated with a kidney stone (Ive had a few in my day).

While waiting to go for this ultrasound, the spasms have since gone bye bye, but I am still going to go, and get the antibiotics I was prescribed...Better safe than sorry. If the pain comes back and gets really intense, I have a free pass to go straight to the hospital where they can monitor me and Madelyn.

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Ah the love

After finishing up our baby shopping on Tuesday (just nursing tanks left on the list...which I am procrastinating on cause damn they are expensive and what happens if nursing isn't successful!) we did dinner with my dad, stepmom and one of my aunts. Madelyn was taking a bruising 101 course in my belly and even ashs eyes got big when he put his hand on my stomach during one of her assaults. It was an uncomfortable dinner! When we finally got home (we missed lost which pretty much doesn't happen here in this household) I started getting mild cramping and headed to bed. I woke up an hour later to severe cramps that I immediately started timing again. This lasted for 5 hours and even though they never got closer than 6 minutes, I called labor and delivery at 3am, cranky and exhausted. They told me to take a bath and try to sleep. Right, a bath at three in the morning...excellent advice. The contractions stopped on their own sometime after I forced my eyes closed to a clock that said 4am.

These suck by the way. I am all about contracting and the baby producing process, but it is just that....I want these events to produce an outcome, not just go away and not have a baby in the end of the pain tunnel.

But, my post is not just about contractions. Everyone knows I live my job, I love it, I do. But I am getting on my last nerve here and just need a moment to vent. I used to be full time but switched to part time to move to "the clinic" as we shall call it from now on, with the agreement that it would go to full time sooner than later. I am kicking ass. I do well at my job and often give the full timers a run for their money sales wise even being there less hours. My beef is this: most of last month 3 out of us four gals were on vacation, or sick, or dealing with family business....guess who covered ass and got to deal with changed schedules, added sales goals and overall coverage of the counter -8 month prego lady. Not a big deal, I dealt with it... until here we are in month 2 of covering ass and I am now 9 months, ready to poop (haha, meant to spell pop, but poop is also a good word to use). When I should be calling out because I got two hours of sleep from contractions, or just sheer f*ing exhaustion, I work and have my schedule changed to accomondate someone else calling out. It's awesome. My work actually called monday to see if I could pull a 6th work day this week....6. They also scheduled me to work until 11:15 pm this Saturday in my 38th week of pregnancy. I've already been called today to switch my schedule, instead of a mid shift, I now get to close because the same person is continually calling out. So my next four days are as follows - close, open early, close late, open. Awesome. I am supposed to be the one causing others to work around my health, yet here I am.

Pissy.

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Almost there

Tomorrows the day. She's got one day until she's officially freeloading.

Her movements are crazy painful and damn is she strong. Madelyns head is down tight and the twinges on my cervix send me to my knees! All of the prep work is done, nursery is set, the very last of the needs list will be picked up tonight with our gift cards from the shower over the weekend.

We've got to get the dogs nails done and groceries out of the way today. I wish I could say I would be spending the day laboring with signs of contractions in my mist instead of these super fun duties, but oh well.

I think I might try and find this red raspberry leaf tea and evening primrose oil to help move things along or at least make labor easier when it does finally happen.

3 weeks to go.


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Falsies

I had 'em big time last night.

4-5 an hour for 5 hours, contractions that started at the top of my stomach and rolled downward. I wasn't quite sure they were contractions but even when I moved they seemed to get stronger not lighter. Madelyn moved after every one, she had the most active night to date while I was wincing. They hurt more than braxton hicks normally do.

They went away when I finally got to sleep. I was hoping they were going to turn into more, but it wasn't meant to be. I even prepped the bed in case my water broke.

Speaking of sleep, most of month eight I was getting up 4 times a night to pee and drink a ton of water, I was drinking at least 24oz in the middle of the night on top of my 80-100 I was drinking each day. Now that I'm bigger and she's dropping, you'd think it would get worse, but I am actually sleeping through most of the night. Just one trip/one waking period and I wasn't even thirsty last night. Weird.

I still feel like she's coming early. Our last baby shower is this Saturday, at my favorite cupcake store, so once that is over she has fully been ok'd to come by the family. It's awesome to see how excited everyone is for her arrival!

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Fighting the hippy

So we had another doctors appt, only this one we went with the most recent ultrasound information (larger baby). After telling him about the fetal medicine doctor recommending that we get induced on our due date, he hymned and hahhed about it...saying you can never be sure as it's an estimate. We were a little frustrated. I don't want to try and go past, not with even the slimmest of chances of a stillborn due to the umbilical cord artery. He doesn't understand this. Him and his five perfect babies and five perfect labors to boot don't see a reason to worry.

Argh.

The toughest part of all for me this last month has been dealing with the short term disability, maternity leave, and paperwork headache. On top of being uber tired and in dull ache like pains, my work requires notice of 30 days from the date of delivery for maternity leave. And all of the other random documents I have to fill out are just as nasty about when you leave. I just want to be at home with my feet up right now, but dammit I don't know when she's coming so I can't take off exactly two weeks before she delivers for the sake of our HR...you lose, thanks for trying.

Argh.

Anyhow, these are my two biggest rants of the day, seems like they could have been seperate posts but I am tired and lazy, now back to work with the crazy "I swear it's a full moon" customers I seem to be magnetic to today.


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Real advice

Found a really funny source of pregnancy woes from an excellent writer. Thought I would share...

http://skepchick.org/blog/2010/02/what-pregnant-women-wont-tell-you-ever/

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